Wasted.

"So she took another step, said 'I see the way out and I'm gonna take it'".

I honestly think maybe I see the way out of this and I'm just ignoring it.

Is that what this is?

Am I just stalling for time until I have to do this?

Last time I let that happen I ended up somewhere I never thought I'd be, needed months to recover, got sick and tired and almost didn't get out. I'm not in a place now where I can handle that again, and for God's sake I need to stop this.

I really think maybe I need to leave ACU now, and make a few other changes as well. 

Is that what I'm doing now?

Pretending that I don't see this and letting myself believe that I'm doing the right thing?

Wow, I'm an idiot.

Looking at things this way is going to land me in a lot of trouble.

I can't help but think that maybe I'm making a big mistake. 

So this time I'm going to do what I should have done last time.

Instead of acting like I can handle it on my own, I'm going to go to the people I trust most, pray, and step back for awhile.

<3b